Who Are We?

After introducing our blog a few days ago, let me now share who we are:

• I'm Chinese. Hubby is Japanese.
• We are an over 40 couple who met at work and in less than 2 years got married last September.
• Each has been married before.
• Each has pretty much have seen and lived in other parts of the world, work high pressure jobs and are homeowners, etc.
• We each have dogs.

I have one and my hubby had two, the older of the two unfortunately passed away in September 2012 of old age, now one. The big one follows the little one around, not vice versa. You can figure out who is the alpha in their relationship.


Our Christmas 2013 card
Photo: Baby For Our Family Blog

Me

From our 1st date we each were straight up honest. We both said we wanted to have children and at the time the only way I thought I could have children was IVF. Starting in my mid 30s, I have tried getting pregnant for 10 years. Went one round of IVF with my first husband and was able to produce great quality eggs, but surprisingly I could not carry and still remember vividly how devastated I was when I received the news that I wasn't on Halloween 2008.

During this 10 year period, my first surgery was for adenomyosis and my 2nd was for fibroid tumors before I began IVF.  I have had super duper heavy periods with excruciating lower back pain throughout, which finally led me to have a robotic hysterectomy last June at Kaiser. This winter was the first time since 2008 that I wasn't taking prescription pain meds because normally with the cold I would have the symptoms of arthritic lower back pain during my monthly. So to look at the positives, I do not have any regrets having a hysterectomy.

Hubby

His first wife works as a elementary school teacher who also has back problems. She didn't want to have kids since she's with them all day long. Unfortunately, this issue wasn't discussed before they got married. So after several years, this, among other issues, was what ended their marriage.

Why the egg donor and gestational carrier route?

Beginning in 2012, I was going through the process of reviewing my fertility at Kaiser which led me to their IVF clinic because I wanted to go through IVF, but my very painful, heavy periods returned starting around 2010 and grew worst with each passing month. I knew I had to get this resolved before I could even start the IVF merry-go-round again. But because of my over 40 age and now my recurring condition, the RE recommended I go back to see a OB/GYN to address that AND strongly recommended that we go the egg donor gestational carrier route because to put it, bluntly, my eggs are old and my uterus is and will be even more damaged than it's already with the 2 rounds of surgery I've had.

Hubby and I did talk about adoption. Did a lot of research for both domestic and overseas adoptions. But it didn't make sense for us because it would take as long or longer with all of the hurdles we would have to jump through for a toddler+.

Reality sinks in

What rang clear for me from my conversation with my RE: "If we really want children, stop wasting time and money. Go get an egg donor and surrogate because in order for me to stop having the debilitating painful periods I will have to have the hysterectomy. My eggs are done. At least, our child will be half Hubby's."

It took three more months to meet with the OB referral to get my June robotic hysterectomy, which recovery time was less than 2 weeks compared to 4-6 with a traditional one. One week after we returned from marrying in Hawaii last September, I contacted the Kaiser's IVF Agency coordinator and she gave me their referral list to review. I, then, started making the calls to set up the initial consultation appointments.

Hubby and I never looked back.

Love to hear from you: What was your decision making process for going with the egg donor gestational carrier route? Do you have any regrets?